A piece of love in your face
by PhoebeDreams
Summary: Before the events of The Last Battle, the Pevensies spend a Sunday together on a trip to the countryside. Susan argues with Peter and realizes something about her older brother.


A piece of love in your face

_You fasten my seatbelt__ because it is the law_

_In your two-ton death trap I finally saw_

_A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret_

_Then you drove me to places I'll never forget_

They had been back in England for too long, Edmund thought when Peter showed up at the Pevensies' house one Sunday in a car. It soon turned out that it belonged to a friend of his, who had lent it to Peter for his visit to the family. It would have surprised Edmund if Peter, who had finished his studies in history two years ago and was now working at a museum, was able to afford a car on his own, seeing as he could barely afford his tiny flat. However, a borrowed car was still better than no car at all, and so the four Pevensie siblings clambered into the car on a bright April day for a ride to the countryside.

Edmund had been very reluctant, seeing as the only means of transportation he had liked so far had been horses. In fact, most of his life – in Narnia, that is – he had travelled on horseback, and absolutely loved it. Sailing on the Dawn Treader had, for the most part, been pleasant as well, unless the weather was stormy. This car, however, made Edmund very nervous. It seemed there were always a lot of people dying in car accidents, which was why their mother called them "death traps" and refused to let their father buy one. Not that they really needed it, but cars had been growing increasingly popular after the war, and many of their neighbours had one now.

Susan, always wanting to be at the height of her time, had been trying to convince her parents to get one. Now, sitting in the front seat beside her brother, she was quite pleased, and hoping for them to meet someone she knew so that she could show off with her handsome older brother and his car. She had actually been trying to show Peter around ever since he had been accepted into Oxford, and now that he was behind the steering-wheel in a gleaming, fashionable convertible car, she was even more proud of her brother. Edmund sneered to himself. There used to be a time when Susan was proud of Peter for defeating giants in battle, for peacefully settling a dispute between his subjects or for elegantly putting disrespectful suitors in their place. Now, apparently, it was sufficient for Peter to be seen in a fancy car, even though it wasn't his, even though Peter was the last person on earth who would adorn himself with borrowed plumes. Well, that was the kind of person Susan had become, and Edmund would just have to get used to it.

They had probably all changed. Peter had become quiet and withdrawn, spending most of his time in archives and libraries when he used to spend it negotiating with fellow statesmen, dancing with wood nymphs or fighting in battle. Those were the roles he had been born for, the roles he was magnificent in. England, grey, stuffy England, just didn't give him any room to shine. However, Edmund thought that it bothered him more than Peter himself, who was usually content burrowed in history, where at least in the stories of kings and knights he could recognize some aspects of the life he had been living.

Edmund didn't have that luxury, and, finding himself unable to escape their bleak reality, he became rather cynical. He did well enough at University, where he studied law, but he kept his distance from the life they were living here, and from the people surrounding him. The only one who never got stung by one of his frequent scathing remarks was Lucy, sweet, enthusiastic Lucy, the only one of the four of them who had not changed a bit, and probably never would. That didn't mean that she was childish or in any way removed from this world. As much as she missed Narnia, she gave every situation the chance to grow into something good, and so she had given life in England the chance to be good as well. She had finished school and was now training to become a nurse, replacing her cordial with her own skills. She had a few friends, all of whom were very nice, and she went out occasionally, though not as obsessively as her sister. No, Lucy, with her stubborn persistence and her unrelenting faith, would always be fine. If they would live and die in England, she would live a full life and then die happily, and if they were called back to Narnia, she would go without hesitation and embrace life there just as she embraced everything. Lucy would always be alright, and that helped Edmund to feel a little less lost.

Susan, however, was probably beyond help. She had thrown herself into everything superficial, from silly friends to make-up and dresses to dances and men. In a way, Edmund could understand her. Being told that she would never return to Narnia had been hard for her, and since she didn't have Lucy's ability to believe no matter what, she let logic replace faith, and her logic told her it was best to forget Narnia and make life in England bearable by distracting herself with everything this world had to offer. Still, sometimes Edmund wondered if she really had forgotten all about Narnia, or if she just pretended. Did she still dream about it sometimes? Did her hand still impulsively go to the bow and quiver on her back when she felt threatened, just like Edmund's automatically twitched for his sword? Did she still feel like crying every time she saw the sea, because it reminded her of the view at Cair Paravel? And, if not, was she happier than him? Thinking about his sister, Edmund became aware of the dispute going on in the front seats.

"Come on Susan, fasten your seatbelt so we can go."

"Peter, please, I don't think I'll need to. I trust you to drive safe."

"That's not the point. Accidents can always happen, and it does protect you. And besides, it's the law. If we get stopped and you're unbelted, I have to pay the fine."

Susan sighed. Here they were, sitting in that beautiful car, about to drive around and hopefully be seen by someone she knew who could then tell everyone about Susan Pevensie, riding in a fancy car with her dashing older brother, and Peter wanted to spoil it all by strapping her into the seat with that horrible belt which would just rumple her dress and make her look stupid – like someone who was afraid of driving in a car, and listened to the stories about tragic accidents. So what if there was an accident? At least she would die looking her best, and be remembered like this, sitting in a fashionable car in her finest dress. This was an opportunity to ascend even further in her friends' opinion, and all Peter could worry about was a stupid fine.

As he leaned over her to fasten the seatbelt for her, Susan looked at her older brother's face, and realised that is wasn't about the fine at all. It was about her. The only thing Peter was concerned about was her safety – as always. Thinking back to their time in Narnia – which she had not forgotten, even though Edmund seemed to believe that and hate her for it – she realised that was just what he did. From the moment they had first set foot into Narnia, he had only worried how to get them safely back. Once they had decided to stay and had become kings and queens, he had always done everything he could to protect his family and his subjects, coming very near death on several occasions. But that didn't matter to him, just as paying a fine or looking stupid in a fancy car didn't matter, because the only thing that mattered were his siblings. Because, despite their differences, he loved them, unconditionally.

The realisation brought tears to her eyes.

"Susan, what's wrong?" Peter asked, concern evident in his voice, and Edmund was about to roll his eyes at the fuss his sister was making when she answered:

"Nothing. I love you, Peter." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and yet everyone in the car had heard. Edmund's jaw dropped, and Lucy's face split into a big smile. Peter, however, just smiled at his sister, kissed her forehead and said

"I know. I love you too", before he slid back into his seat and started the car.

The day they spent together was lovely. They took a walk and then had a picnic, and afterwards, they just laid in the grass, looking at cloud formations in the sky. Peter didn't know then that it would be the last time he would see Susan before Aslan called them to his country. But whenever he felt sad that Susan couldn't come with them, he remembered that last day and her words to him, and he would miss her a little bit less, and hope she was alright.

A/N: I first posted this story a little while ago, but since my kind reviewers JackGirl and Solitaire42 have pointed out that the first paragraph was too long (and I found it really was), I decided to break it up a little. The story was inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's "Breakable", and my own thoughts about two aspects of the Narnia chronicles that I've often wondered about. One of them is the question how the Pevensies would cope with having to leave Narnia several times, the other is the fact that Susan is not called back to Aslan's country, which always makes me very sad, because she is a nice character, and in my opinion, it's not her fault that she forgot about Narnia. It's actually quite understandable, I think.


End file.
